you've been dismissed

This morning I awoke suddenly. It was 7am.I awoke just in time to make eye contact with Mindie just before we heard a group of people coming toward my open hospital door. She looked out the door from her angle and then said to me "he's here." though I had crust in my eyes from my deep slumber it registered that she was talking about Dr z. The elusive out of town til just now Dr z. He brought his posse with him ie interns and residents and who knows who else. Bottom line: it went great. He was nice. He had a plan. He validated the pain I have been having all week in me leg. He gave me hope. I felt like I was on a roll after my good day yesterday. I still do. But I must share what happened next. Like an analogy to the ups and downs I have had all week here at uci, the downer walked into my room no later than 2 minutes after Dr z walked out.some new lady introduced herself ad my new nurses aid. I get a new aid every 12 hours along with the nurse Change. 7am and 7pm. Anyways she immediately starts asking me questions about why I'm in the hospital and what happened. She shifted gears into questioning how I could be in so much pain. After all she said she hurt her pelvis in the past and she was up and walking with very little pain in no time.she flippantly said she would personally have me walking in no time. When Mindie pointed out that the physical therapist was the only one approved to help me get out of bed to stand she said she does physical therapy too but she's just not doing it right now while she's an aide. Yeah right lady. Holiday inn express all the way. So I told the lady she had no clue and dismissed her from my room. No longer am I taking this crap. No longer will let someone who has spent 0 time with me suggest they know my body better than me or let them size size me up. I have found than when in this much pain you must protect yourself and trust your gut instinct. You have one for a reason. In other cases your gut might lead you astray when you don't have all the info or when you are too emotional about the issue. But when it comes to flat out avoiding pain you and your body ie your gut instinct know "you" pretty well.anyways. Enough with that rant. Also dismissed so far is the thought "why did this have to happen?" dismissed are my neck brace and chest tube. Dismissed is withholding the words "i love you" from those that should be hearing it. Dismissed is underappreciation of simple pleasures like using a toilet, being regular, not having to tell a total stranger that you might have to poop in a bedpan soon and they will need to clean it up for you.yes. I have learned to appreciate even more. Like putting your feet on the floor each day. The last 2 days I have been able to put my feet to the floor and it feels so good. Never thought I would be looking forward to that but I can't wait til my pt comes agaain tomorrow and I get to stand up! Sounds crazy. But I can't wait to be reading this months fromm now when I'm able to wrestle with my girls on the floor. Go swimming in our pool. Go for a walk with my wife to the store. What are you looking forward to? . .